What do you do when you can't sleep??

So we've all had nights when you have to get up early in the morning, but no matter what you do you can't get your brain to shut it down so you can sleep.  Perhaps you count sheep like the rest of the world.  I spend all day counting how long it takes someone to hop on one foot, or how long it takes them to run to their room or back, or how long it takes them to wipe their butt, flush the toilet and wash their hands.  So the thought of counting sheep gives me no hope of coming sleep.

There are times when I quote Scripture and have a little contest to see how many verses I can think of... but I'm so competitive that I actually stay up longer trying to beat my previous record.  No joke.

Another favorite is to think of baby names.  But, that seems futile now and besides Ben has never liked a name that I thought of at 3 AM.  Or 3 PM for that matter...

I've discovered my new favorite game for falling asleep.  I always end up giggling to myself trying desperately not to make a peep so Ben won't wake up... I'd really hate to have to explain why I was laughing to myself at this time of night morning.  I love this "game" so much that I've actually found myself playing it during the day when the kids are going crazy and I'm about to explode... because the end result is almost always a smile for me.


So here's what I do.  You're going to think I'm ca-razy and I probably am, but it's so funny to me!  I pick a bunch of ladies out of my church (or from college, or high school, or whatever... but usually from church) who are on my imaginary street gang.  Why do I have a street gang of church ladies?  Because that makes me giggle.  As a matter-of-fact I just started giggling and Julayne asked me why I was laughing... well, Julayne I have a gang of church ladies that no one knows about... not even the members!


This takes a lot of thought.  At first I went through and picked all of the ladies who I thought were T-U-F-F or even a few that are "girthy"... but my strategy has since changed.  There are a few ladies who are anything but girthy, instead they're completely scrappy.  You know the ones...the girls that pull hair, bite and sink their nails in to your flesh.  Or the one that breaks the beer bottle in half and says, "I will cut you."  Now, I have in mind a particular lady for this role... but sometimes it's fun to throw in a random lady who would NEVER be in a street gang and cut and paste her face into the Beer Bottle Lady.


Ok, next matter of consideration.  Who's packin' heat?  Ahhhhh, yay!  You're on my gang.

Who wears long skirts all the time?  Yep, you can hide a lot of weapons under those things.  You're on my gang.

Who scares me?  Anyone intimidate me?  Yes, you quiet ladies!  I'm not sure what it is about the silent ones, but chances are you're planning something.  I'm not sure if you're on my gang.  I want to be the leader and you might have more skills at this... 'cause I've never actually been in a gang before. 

Anyone with military training or married to someone with military training... or police training ... or martial arts training??  You're in.  

Get the idea?  Church lady street gangs, waaaayyyyy harder than it first appears.  So you have to pick 10 people for your gang and you're one of them.  Good luck and you better pray you NEVER see me in a dark alley! ;) 


Now to think of a name and gang colors... =)