I woke up this morning... much like the past 7 years... to someone standing in the hallway screaming and crying. Of course they don't know why they're that upset, never mind the fact that my ears are bleeding and I almost wet the bed at the sound of the first shrill scream.
The "baby" has pooped 4 times in the course of an hour... making it hard to get much done and making it even harder to work up an appetite for breakfast. You know some people claim that breakfast is the most important meal of the day? I've never been much of a breakfast eater, but knowing that I don't really have a chance to eat breakfast makes me grumpy. I mean it would be nice to sit down and eat breakfast like all the important people.
I never go to the bathroom by myself... at least not before 8:30 or 9 PM. And I never get through a shower without at least 2 people coming in to put their dirty clothes in the laundry room. It's as if the sound of running water has a mystical ability to make everyone want clean clothes. It also never fails that whoever is the last one leaving the bathroom as I'm showering will ALWAYS forget to shut the bathroom door. Cold air is the perfect ending to a interrupted shower.
Is there a rule that all children hate onions? Or peas? Or green peppers? Is there also a rule that all children must remind their mama of this every time it hits their plate... burst into tears and accidentally spill their milk at the same time. Of course the milk has now run off the table onto the child who cannot stand to be wet, or dirty, or looked at cross eyed and now she too is crying and glaring at me like it was my doing? Without a doubt I'm thinking, "Great more laundry, looking forward to that cold air shower tomorrow."
To my recently potty trained child... we are all very excited for you, but no, I don't want to go with you into the bathroom. No, I don't want to see your poop. No, I don't want to see your penis. Please stop asking me 300 times aday minute.
Who taught these children to apologize to each other by screaming, "I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. I SAID, I'M SORRY!"
Translated, "DON'T TELL MOMMY. DON'T TELL MOMMY. I SAID, I TOTALLY MEANT TO HURT YOU AND YOUR FEELINGS, BUT IF YOU TELL MOMMY I'M GOING TO GET IN TROUBLE!"
And then at nap time why is it that no matter how many times I say, "No talking." That gets translated into, "It's totally OK to whisper, giggle, get wound up, jump, dance, and try out new Kung Fu moves... get hurt and cry for Mommy to make you feel better. When Mommy refuses to console you it is perfectly acceptable to cry harder and harder and harder until your lips turn blue, your face turns red and for some unexplainable reason YOU NEVER PASS OUT! How is that fair? Oh.my.word. Is that a bump on your head? Is it a concussion? Does this mean that I have to actually keep you awake now? Oh, and that little tissy fit has really worn you out and you're tired and mad at me because I won't let you sleep.....
...Ok, stay at home mamas, you know you've had a day like this. I didn't even get into barfing, sibling fighting, neighbor kids that don't want to play with the kiddos, home schooling horrors, asthma attacks, stitches, broken bones... So here's your chance...
Fill in the blank, "I have it worse than you because _________________________"
And let us laugh at how bad it gets and yet we know that we have the best jobs in the whole world!
The "baby" has pooped 4 times in the course of an hour... making it hard to get much done and making it even harder to work up an appetite for breakfast. You know some people claim that breakfast is the most important meal of the day? I've never been much of a breakfast eater, but knowing that I don't really have a chance to eat breakfast makes me grumpy. I mean it would be nice to sit down and eat breakfast like all the important people.
I never go to the bathroom by myself... at least not before 8:30 or 9 PM. And I never get through a shower without at least 2 people coming in to put their dirty clothes in the laundry room. It's as if the sound of running water has a mystical ability to make everyone want clean clothes. It also never fails that whoever is the last one leaving the bathroom as I'm showering will ALWAYS forget to shut the bathroom door. Cold air is the perfect ending to a interrupted shower.
Is there a rule that all children hate onions? Or peas? Or green peppers? Is there also a rule that all children must remind their mama of this every time it hits their plate... burst into tears and accidentally spill their milk at the same time. Of course the milk has now run off the table onto the child who cannot stand to be wet, or dirty, or looked at cross eyed and now she too is crying and glaring at me like it was my doing? Without a doubt I'm thinking, "Great more laundry, looking forward to that cold air shower tomorrow."
To my recently potty trained child... we are all very excited for you, but no, I don't want to go with you into the bathroom. No, I don't want to see your poop. No, I don't want to see your penis. Please stop asking me 300 times a
Who taught these children to apologize to each other by screaming, "I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. I SAID, I'M SORRY!"
Translated, "DON'T TELL MOMMY. DON'T TELL MOMMY. I SAID, I TOTALLY MEANT TO HURT YOU AND YOUR FEELINGS, BUT IF YOU TELL MOMMY I'M GOING TO GET IN TROUBLE!"
And then at nap time why is it that no matter how many times I say, "No talking." That gets translated into, "It's totally OK to whisper, giggle, get wound up, jump, dance, and try out new Kung Fu moves... get hurt and cry for Mommy to make you feel better. When Mommy refuses to console you it is perfectly acceptable to cry harder and harder and harder until your lips turn blue, your face turns red and for some unexplainable reason YOU NEVER PASS OUT! How is that fair? Oh.my.word. Is that a bump on your head? Is it a concussion? Does this mean that I have to actually keep you awake now? Oh, and that little tissy fit has really worn you out and you're tired and mad at me because I won't let you sleep.....
...Ok, stay at home mamas, you know you've had a day like this. I didn't even get into barfing, sibling fighting, neighbor kids that don't want to play with the kiddos, home schooling horrors, asthma attacks, stitches, broken bones... So here's your chance...
Fill in the blank, "I have it worse than you because _________________________"
And let us laugh at how bad it gets and yet we know that we have the best jobs in the whole world!
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