I have five Turkeys. Perhaps you've heard that rumor floating around. They're good kids... and I'm completely biased in that summation of their behavior and character. The thing about having 5 Turkeys (no matter how good they are) is that I find myself doing the same things one hundred times a day. I sweep a hundred times a day. I pick up and throw away a hundred scribbled colored pictures a day. Yes, even the ones that say "I love you Mommy" on them. I wash a hundred dishes a day (with help from the dishwasher) and well, you get the point.
I also hear 5 different voices talking at 5 different pitches and volumes using 5 different languages (from Toddler Speak to Chubbanese to Parrot to straight up English) and if one voice seems to be getting more air time than the others well this angers the rest of the flock and they will surely do their best to out squawk their counterparts. Translation ... it gets loud around here. Loudness wears me out. For reals.
And so this week of the picking the same things up over and over and over and over again and the mere volume of having a large family has made me tired. Weary-what-have-we-done-tired! Which makes me think about having another 1, or 2, or even 3. What in the world. Why? Why do that to myself? So if we were to adopt I might not be weary-what-have-we-done-tired ... but exhausted-lock-me-up-and-throw-the-key-away-tired-tiredness!
What if I can't do it.
The very thought of doing it makes me exhausted. The very thought of NOT doing it makes me weep. So what if I'm tired and drag my old body to bed every night after picking up 60 mis-matched socks? So what if we carpet the house with coloring book pages. So what if we never have enough money to do everything I'd like to do with money that we don't have... what if... what if... what if...
And then tonight as I struggle with these feelings I read this on Twitter:
I also hear 5 different voices talking at 5 different pitches and volumes using 5 different languages (from Toddler Speak to Chubbanese to Parrot to straight up English) and if one voice seems to be getting more air time than the others well this angers the rest of the flock and they will surely do their best to out squawk their counterparts. Translation ... it gets loud around here. Loudness wears me out. For reals.
And so this week of the picking the same things up over and over and over and over again and the mere volume of having a large family has made me tired. Weary-what-have-we-done-tired! Which makes me think about having another 1, or 2, or even 3. What in the world. Why? Why do that to myself? So if we were to adopt I might not be weary-what-have-we-done-tired ... but exhausted-lock-me-up-and-throw-the-key-away-tired-tiredness!
What if I can't do it.
The very thought of doing it makes me exhausted. The very thought of NOT doing it makes me weep. So what if I'm tired and drag my old body to bed every night after picking up 60 mis-matched socks? So what if we carpet the house with coloring book pages. So what if we never have enough money to do everything I'd like to do with money that we don't have... what if... what if... what if...
And then tonight as I struggle with these feelings I read this on Twitter:
"A sign you're growing in grace: Because it matters so much to your Father, you care for widows and orphans. James 1:27"
And there it is... it doesn't matter one iota what I want or what I can or can't do. My Father's heart breaks for the fatherless. My heart breaks for the fatherless. The difference is God has called me to action and having a broken heart doesn't achieve anything if it doesn't spur me on to make a difference in the life of a child that He has choosen for our family.
And there it is... it doesn't matter one iota what I want or what I can or can't do. My Father's heart breaks for the fatherless. My heart breaks for the fatherless. The difference is God has called me to action and having a broken heart doesn't achieve anything if it doesn't spur me on to make a difference in the life of a child that He has choosen for our family.
1 comment:
Very touching Kelly!
-Amy
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