Today I play the role of the mean mom. Actually I play the role of great wife helping mean dad be a great parent!
It's not much fun.
Our oldest is being trained in the way she should go and it's not an easy task. But, we don't often find much value in easy tasks. You, see she wrote a letter to her younger sister saying things about her brother that were not at all glorifying to God. In short, she was mean. She wrote mean things with the intent to hurt her brother and she wanted her sister to help.
Of course this breaks my heart. I love my daughters. I love my sons. I want to protect them from mean spirited things. Especially when it comes from a family member. Family should protect each other, not cause harm.
Upon finding the letter I was unsure if she meant it to be mean or if it was a part of a game. So I asked her to read the note to me. Her face went immediately white and the tears started to pour when she read it aloud to me. I called her dad in on the conversation and made her read it to him. She sobbed. He had to reread the note when she was done.
It's bad to get caught by mom. It's torture to be caught in being mean by your daddy.
So Ben declared that she would have to apologize to her brother and her sister. She would not be allowed to watch TV today. Or read. Or color. Or write. Or play with toys. Or get on the computer. Or play the Wii.
She can do her homework. She can do extra homework. She can read her Bible. She can listen to KNWS. She can memorize verse for Awana. She can do chores. She can lay in bed. She can sit and stare into space.
This morning she came into my room and told me that she was having a hard time not reading. There are words everywhere and she's trying to obey, but it's soooo hard.
This afternoon she came into the kitchen crying and saying that she felt left out. She said that she was miserable.
I told her that I was glad. That was the point. And I am glad. I hope this is the most miserable, awful day of her life. I hope that she feels lonely and sad. Because I want her to repent. I want her to understand that there are consequences to her actions. We live in a world where all too often we don't discipline our kids because we don't want to hurt their feelings or ruin their self-esteems.
If her feelings are hurt it will be her own fault. She made the choice to write the note and she made the choice to try to hurt someone else. If her self-esteem takes a blow it will be because she understands that she should consider others more highly than herself... and yesterday she failed to do that. I hope that this will make her into a kinder more considerate person. I pray that we will train her to be a lover of others instead of a lover of self. I pray that she will love others with the love that Christ has loved her.
I want her to learn these lessons now. While she's in our house. So that her dad and I can build her back up and assure her that no matter how bad she fails that we will still love her. We will do everything in our power to make sure that she knows that she is valuable to us. More importantly we will also make sure that she understands that once she confesses her sin and turns from it that our Father is faithful to forgive her.
If we don't train our children to care about others then we will visit them in jail later on in life. That is too great a price and our children deserve more. So today is a hard day. But, I believe that it is worth it.
It's not much fun.
Our oldest is being trained in the way she should go and it's not an easy task. But, we don't often find much value in easy tasks. You, see she wrote a letter to her younger sister saying things about her brother that were not at all glorifying to God. In short, she was mean. She wrote mean things with the intent to hurt her brother and she wanted her sister to help.
Of course this breaks my heart. I love my daughters. I love my sons. I want to protect them from mean spirited things. Especially when it comes from a family member. Family should protect each other, not cause harm.
Upon finding the letter I was unsure if she meant it to be mean or if it was a part of a game. So I asked her to read the note to me. Her face went immediately white and the tears started to pour when she read it aloud to me. I called her dad in on the conversation and made her read it to him. She sobbed. He had to reread the note when she was done.
It's bad to get caught by mom. It's torture to be caught in being mean by your daddy.
So Ben declared that she would have to apologize to her brother and her sister. She would not be allowed to watch TV today. Or read. Or color. Or write. Or play with toys. Or get on the computer. Or play the Wii.
She can do her homework. She can do extra homework. She can read her Bible. She can listen to KNWS. She can memorize verse for Awana. She can do chores. She can lay in bed. She can sit and stare into space.
This morning she came into my room and told me that she was having a hard time not reading. There are words everywhere and she's trying to obey, but it's soooo hard.
This afternoon she came into the kitchen crying and saying that she felt left out. She said that she was miserable.
I told her that I was glad. That was the point. And I am glad. I hope this is the most miserable, awful day of her life. I hope that she feels lonely and sad. Because I want her to repent. I want her to understand that there are consequences to her actions. We live in a world where all too often we don't discipline our kids because we don't want to hurt their feelings or ruin their self-esteems.
If her feelings are hurt it will be her own fault. She made the choice to write the note and she made the choice to try to hurt someone else. If her self-esteem takes a blow it will be because she understands that she should consider others more highly than herself... and yesterday she failed to do that. I hope that this will make her into a kinder more considerate person. I pray that we will train her to be a lover of others instead of a lover of self. I pray that she will love others with the love that Christ has loved her.
I want her to learn these lessons now. While she's in our house. So that her dad and I can build her back up and assure her that no matter how bad she fails that we will still love her. We will do everything in our power to make sure that she knows that she is valuable to us. More importantly we will also make sure that she understands that once she confesses her sin and turns from it that our Father is faithful to forgive her.
If we don't train our children to care about others then we will visit them in jail later on in life. That is too great a price and our children deserve more. So today is a hard day. But, I believe that it is worth it.
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