Emma is having a rough time lately. She's a girl. Obvious, right? As a girl she's also a little emotional and she comes by that naturally. Not only does she come from a long line of criers, there's also that first girl Eve that we would all like to kick in the teeth for her dumb dumbness!
Ohhh, do not even get me started on Eve.
Back to Emma. Yesterday I found her in her room with the lights off, the radio playing leaning up against the steps to her bunk bed sobbing. She's 8. She's also a girl. But, I honestly thought this scenario would take 5 more years to develop!
Weeks before this she was crying because she doesn't have any friends. Her older sister has a hand full of girls her age and whenever they see each other there is hugging and much rejoicing. Emma has no one to hug or to join in a chorus of squeals at least she claims that she doesn't.
Yesterday was a reminder that she didn't have the friends that she would like to have. Her Awana handbook had various tasks that she's to complete in order to be a better friend. But, she feels like she doesn't have any friends, so how can she be a better friend to nobody?
So when I found her crying alone in her bedroom, I had an idea of what was going on. I started stroking her hair and let her cry for awhile. She immediately clings to my middle and as a fun mixture of tears and snot fall on my shirt I am mindful of keeping my gagging to bare minimum.
"Emma, what's wrong baby girl?"
"I miss Gus."
The "I miss [our dead Cocker Spaniel that I don't really remember]" is her go to answer. Anything involving tears or sadness somehow ties directly to the dead dog. If that dog would have escaped the clutches of death all would be right in the world. Well, that and if Eve would have never touched that dang piece of fruit...
"No Emma. What's really wrong?"
Out pours the many woes of a lonely 8 year old girl. Oh, how I wish the dead dog answer would've stuck.
And so what do you do? I don't dare tell her that she needs to pray for a friend. I once prayed for a friend and that did not go the way I had envisioned it and I'm not about to do that to her.
I could tell her to make Jesus her bestie, but I'm not sure that's Scriptural. Though our culture of over saturated lovey dovey-ness would make you think that Jesus came to the earth to be our BFF... I don't think that's what He had in mind.
I actually just had a picture in my mind of Jesus wearing thousands of those best friend heart necklaces. The ones where it says, "Best" on one side of the heart and "Friend" on the other side and you and your friend each wear one half! Would it be inappropriate to also mention that he looked like Mr. T in a robe and sandals too? Probably. Best if I don't say that then.
Emma loves everyone and I really think that she has a lot more friends then she realizes. It's just that they're not as visible as Hannah's crew of hugging, screaming, we just entered a rock concert groupie friends are.
So, what did I say? Something about how her daddy and I would always love her. How God loves her. How her siblings love her. How the number of friends is never as important as how good of friends that she has. Nothing profound. Nothing blog worthy really. But, I am wondering what other moms have said to their lonely children?
Help a Mama out!
Ohhh, do not even get me started on Eve.
Back to Emma. Yesterday I found her in her room with the lights off, the radio playing leaning up against the steps to her bunk bed sobbing. She's 8. She's also a girl. But, I honestly thought this scenario would take 5 more years to develop!
Weeks before this she was crying because she doesn't have any friends. Her older sister has a hand full of girls her age and whenever they see each other there is hugging and much rejoicing. Emma has no one to hug or to join in a chorus of squeals at least she claims that she doesn't.
Yesterday was a reminder that she didn't have the friends that she would like to have. Her Awana handbook had various tasks that she's to complete in order to be a better friend. But, she feels like she doesn't have any friends, so how can she be a better friend to nobody?
So when I found her crying alone in her bedroom, I had an idea of what was going on. I started stroking her hair and let her cry for awhile. She immediately clings to my middle and as a fun mixture of tears and snot fall on my shirt I am mindful of keeping my gagging to bare minimum.
"Emma, what's wrong baby girl?"
"I miss Gus."
The "I miss [our dead Cocker Spaniel that I don't really remember]" is her go to answer. Anything involving tears or sadness somehow ties directly to the dead dog. If that dog would have escaped the clutches of death all would be right in the world. Well, that and if Eve would have never touched that dang piece of fruit...
"No Emma. What's really wrong?"
Out pours the many woes of a lonely 8 year old girl. Oh, how I wish the dead dog answer would've stuck.
And so what do you do? I don't dare tell her that she needs to pray for a friend. I once prayed for a friend and that did not go the way I had envisioned it and I'm not about to do that to her.
I could tell her to make Jesus her bestie, but I'm not sure that's Scriptural. Though our culture of over saturated lovey dovey-ness would make you think that Jesus came to the earth to be our BFF... I don't think that's what He had in mind.
I actually just had a picture in my mind of Jesus wearing thousands of those best friend heart necklaces. The ones where it says, "Best" on one side of the heart and "Friend" on the other side and you and your friend each wear one half! Would it be inappropriate to also mention that he looked like Mr. T in a robe and sandals too? Probably. Best if I don't say that then.
Emma loves everyone and I really think that she has a lot more friends then she realizes. It's just that they're not as visible as Hannah's crew of hugging, screaming, we just entered a rock concert groupie friends are.
So, what did I say? Something about how her daddy and I would always love her. How God loves her. How her siblings love her. How the number of friends is never as important as how good of friends that she has. Nothing profound. Nothing blog worthy really. But, I am wondering what other moms have said to their lonely children?
Help a Mama out!
2 comments:
I don't know if this link will work, but my answer is this is age and social emotionally normally for a girl her age, and thankfully it will get better as she matures. https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=sites&srcid=ZGVmYXVsdGRvbWFpbnxlbW1hdXNjaGlsZHJlbnNtaW5pc3RyeXxneDo3MzE2ODQyNWUwYTg3M2I0
That should help in knowing that she is processing this so you did what you could, you listened, provided security with reminders of your love and Gods. You cant make other 8 year girls appear in her life and you are right, new friends could make it worse! Just pray for her and with her, and remind her Gods plan while challenging her at the moment is what He has for her right now, and she needs to trust Him.
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