Twas the night before Halloween...

Twas the night before Halloween, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse...


So last night Ben and I were playing cards (we were teaching ourselves to play 2-handed Pinochle) and as we placed a card on the table something flew between us.  We kept playing for a second before we locked eyes and realized what was going on.  The noise that we had heard earlier in the night coming from the "tool room" was not a mouse.  It was not Roscoe.  Our guest was one of our biggest fears... it was none other than Count Dracula's alter-ego.


I did the only rational thing I could think of... I put my hood up and ran frantically looking for a blanket to give my head further protection.  In the midst of my insanity I have a moment of clarity that tells me...STOOOOOOPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!  YOU'RE RUNNING STRAIGHT TOWARDS THE RABIES-INFECTED- BLOOD- SUCKING - RODENT!!!!!!!!

In the meantime I hear Ben banging and clanging in the kitchen.  I also think that I hear a faint "whooossshhh, whooosshhh" sound.  But, nothing is going to stop me from running around in mass hysteria.  Now some of the events get a little fuzzy, but I do recall with some sort of certainty that the bat landed on my head and made some sort of nest with my hair.  Also while running around I found Ben laying on the kitchen floor with a broom in his hand which I think is the source of the clanging, banging and whooshing.


After a few minutes of this we managed to get it together and Ben hunted the bat down in the TV room clinging to our banister.  He managed to talk me into finding the kids butterfly net... but I failed and couldn't find it.  Which meant that I had to stand with the broom and keep my eye out on the bat while he frantically searched the girls room for the missing toy turned rodent catcher.


Without much effort we (translated "Ben") was successful in catching the bat.  Not knowing how to get the bat out of the net Ben just threw the whole thing in the yard.  For our concerned PETA friends we did see the bat eventually fly out of the net.


After coming back to our senses we had a wonderful laugh and a slight tiff over whether the bat actually landed in my hair, if it ever even touched me or if I let my fear override my logic...  I guess we'll never know this side of heaven!

Stands whispering one sister to another

Little girls dressed in princess gowns staring at their serene reflections. 
Stands whispering one sister to another. 
Giggles bubble up out of their hearts and through their eyes.
The language of youth they alone understand.

They will grow up one day and make all kinds of decisions along the way.
One stands in condemnation.  The other stands alone.
Scars bubble up out of their hearts and through their eyes.
The language of failure they alone understand.

They'll look with the eyes of their heart and see Him coming in the distance.
Stands whispering one sister to another.
Hope bubbles up out of their hearts and through their eyes.
The language of grace they alone understand.

He'll give them their tears He's collected for two lifetimes and calling them by name
One stands in His palm.  The other stands alone.
Freedom bubbles up out of her heart and Fear shines through the others eyes.
The language of separation they'll never forget.

How many diapers will my children go through??

I've always loved this question.  Really how many diapers will we have changed once all of our children are potty trained??  3 of the Turkey Bottoms are out of diapers and I'm hoping (translated = procrastinating) that Gabe will be trained soon.  But I found a site that gave me this equation to use for the first 2 years of life.
6 wet diapers per day for 730 days = 4,380
1 dirty diaper every 2.5 days for 730 days = 292
1 “oops I changed a diaper that wasn’t wet or dirty because I’m a new mom” diaper for the first month = 30
= 4,702

Now, obviously this equation isn't perfect... for instance my Turd Bottoms, whoops, I mean, Turkey Bottoms poop more than once a day let alone once every 2.5 days!!!  So I'm bumping that number up to 730!  Which gives me 5,140 diapers per child.

5,140 x 5 = (insert drum roll here)...
25,700 diapers!

Ugh.  No wonder most parents stop having children after 2 kiddos!!

My Life At Home With Five!

I love to tell people that I ONLY have five kids.  I think it sets a tone for the rest of the conversation.  Let me tell you things right off the bat not to say...
"Are you crazy?"   --  How do you want me to answer that question?  "Yes.  I actually escaped the institute just a few minutes ago." 
"You must really have your hands full!" -- I always look at my hands when someone says that!
"Do you know what causes that?" -- Yes. And we're good at it! ;)
"Are you Catholic?" -- No, as a matter-of-fact I'm not.

That being said let me tell you a bit about our family of seven!  I've long said that I always wanted to marry the man of my dreams.  Truth is God never answered that prayer.  I didn't marry the man of my dreams.  My husband, Ben, is a better man than I could have ever imagined.  He is a hard worker, a great husband, and a fantastic daddy.  I loved him the moment I set my eyes on him.  I even called my mom to let her know that I saw the man I was going to marry!

Now on to the kiddos (aka our Turkey Bottoms)...

Our first born is Hannah the Helper.  Her name means "gracious" and never a name has been more aptly applied.  Hannah makes me look like a great mom.  She is incredibly smart and wise beyond her years.  I love my strikingly beautiful first born.  She has a heart to follow Jesus and has shared this love with her siblings.  It's my joy to be her mama.   Hannah is pictured above with Josiah, a non-Turkey Bottom! ;)

Next comes Emma the Encourager.  Emma loves to tell everyone that they're beautiful and this includes herself!  She is a cheerleader and also growing into a great helper.  She is silly and loves to dress herself in not so "matchy" clothes.  She started Kindergarten this year and is a very quick learner.  While she is mostly skin and bones, she has an inner strength that could rival any grown man.  I love my "Lou".

One year and 9 days after Emma came our first born son.  Benjamin the Beloved or Chubba as we call him is a cuddler.  He loves to play the "Kiss-me-and-I'll wipe-it-off-game-while-giggling game" as well as all things Spiderman, Batman, Incredible Hulk, etc.  He has a new found love for numbers and almost always learns his memory verses in one try.   He speaks "Chubbaniese" and my heart beats for this boy.

After a bit of a break (for us) we welcomed Gabriel the Grumpy into our clan.  Gabe is proof that we are not perfect parents.  :)  Not that there was any debate in that area, but just in case we started to get arrogant God blessed us with Gabe. He had colic from 4 months to about 29 months... and I don't think I'm exaggerating.  Gabe is a very handsome boy with huge blue eyes, almost white-blond hair and eye lashes to die for.  I sometimes say that God makes the ornery ones extra cute to save their lives! ;)  We call Gabe "Lumpy" as he almost always has a bump or a bruise.  I'm not sure yet if it's because he's all boy or if he's just plain clumsy!  All joking aside, Gabe has filled a gap in our lives that we will always treasure.  He is growing into a very funny boy who loves having all eyes on him.

Last in our five comes Jack the Joyful!  Jack recently turned one and is learning to walk.  He loves being talked to, having music on to dance to and being tickled.  He also loves trains and cars and makes "vroom vroom" noises all on his own.  He has the most adorable brown curls and big blue eyes.  He is a beautiful baby boy... or not so baby boy anymore.  Jack has a tendency to go to Daddy even when Mommy's in the room, something none of our other children ever did... this has brought great joy to Ben... and even me!

I guess that's everyone with the exception of yours truly!  I'm Kelly.  Ben calls me Wife or Toots.  Both names bring joy to my heart.  My kids call me Mama or Mommy, but never Mom.  Not yet anyway.  I stay at home and I homeschool Hannah and Emma.  Something I never really thought I would do, but it's working for us right now.  I also recently started working for At Home America(http://www.athome.com/kellydriscoll) as a Home Style Specialist and I love it!  There are lots of reasons why I do it, but my biggest drive is that someone told I was doing this, said I couldn't be successful at it...and I'm out to prove him wrong.  Finally the thing that defines me is not my family, my new found job or being a homeschooling mom (those things could change at any time) that which defines me is that which will never change... my Savior Jesus Christ.

We welcome you to come along with us on our journey!