Call for Future Generations... Our Total Money Makeover Journey

Perhaps you've seen these faces before...


Benjamin, Hannah, Jack Henry, Emma, Gabriel

Or really their faces usually look a little bit more like this:

Oh, these Turkey Bottoms keep a mama on her feet I tell ya!  I could post far more "silly" pictures than I could ever come up with pictures of all five of them looking at the camera, smiling without cheesing, all eyes opened and no one crying.  You'd think it was torture?!    Speaking of torture (and trying to get back on subject) you know what I am really very fearful of?  I'm fearful that my bad habits will pass from me to these adorable Turkey Bottoms.  It's one of the reasons that I keep running even though I hate it... because when I come home from a run every.single.one.of.them will ask me how far I ran and if I ran fast.  I want them to be healthy and I feel it's important to model that for them... and if I end up looking like a model in the process then woot woot Mama! ;)

 

 

I belive that God has called us to run another race that will require more perseverence and more mental strength then a 5k or even a marathon will ever require of us.  It's the race to get out of debt.  It's the race to redeem the time and blaze a trail for our Turkeys that will teach them that God has a plan for all parts of our lives, including our checkbooks.  I also believe that the way a person chooses to spend (or not spend) their money reveals the state of their heart.  For instance, if I make a choice to go to McDonalds or even HuHots (how I love you) instead of paying off debt I have made a choice that reflects what's important in my heart...                                                                                                                      

 

 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. Romans 13:8

 

I want my children to know that God intends for us to be free of debt.  That we don't have to live a life of slavery to our debtors.  And even more than that we want to use money to bless others.  We want to be able to give to those in need, we want to support our church in ways that we can't with debt, we want to be prepared for emergencies, invested in our future and we want to have lots and lots and lots of fun and do things that we currently can't do! 

 

I'm sure we all know that statistically the number one thing that married couples fight over is money and finances.  It's also one of the major contributors to people getting a divorce.  And while divorce is NOT AN OPTION (Hotsauce is stuck with me and I with him) we have had a minor tiff once or twice about money. ;)  Actually this isn't something that we fight with each other over much, but there is stress because of it and there is definiately a weight that Hotsauce carries because of it.  Imagine a home free of financial stress?  Imagine a lighter Hotsauce! Whew-wee that would be a great environment to raise kiddos in!!  And so we strive in our Total Money Makeover not just for our own freedom, but to pass this legacy on to future generations of Turkey Bottoms.

Call for Freedom... Our Total Money Makeover Journey

Debt enslaves so many Americans from living the life God intends us to live... a life of Freedom! According to www.americandebtadvisor.com 80% of Americans carry debt with them.  Hotsauce and I have been burdened by debt for 10 years now and it.is.not.fun.

I honestly didn't know that you could go to college without getting a loan or having rich parents.  Hotsauce worked his way through college (thankfully we never had to worry about paying off his student loans, while mine never seem to go away).  And when I landed on the UNI campus I was offered a "free" UNI T-shirt if I would sign up for a "UNI" Mastercard!  I was the first sucker in line!  And so I began my debt path...

Hotsauce and his friend had a great money making idea when they found out that they were being deployed to Saudi Arabia ... they would buy a cheap home and fix it up.  While they were deployed the Army would pay the mortgage and they would save money for the repairs.  When they returned state side they would finish the house and sell it for more then they bought it for... it would be the perfect flip.  Well, you know what they say about the best laid plans!  And so Hotsauce began his debt path...

When two soulmates meet on the debt path it's always a recipe for success disaster!  I'm not even going to mention the timeshare that we were literally suckered into buying on our honeymoon... boy did they see us coming a mile away... and before I go further into details that would utterly embarass both of us, I will simply say that you can see where this story is going.  Now, factor in five kids and one income and you can see where we are living a life of slavery of our own making.  Oh, if I could go back and tell us as young people what we were getting ourselves into...

A few years ago, my good friend, Angie, went to Financial Peace University.  And she talked about it All.The.Time.  She used his envelope system and would constantly say things like, "Dave Ramsey would be proud."  Ugh!  It's hard to be drowning when your friend is succeeding.  Not that she was bragging or prideful, I just knew my own heart and my own situation and thought that we could never experience the freedom she found.

Other friends and family have either gone throw FPU or have done the Total Money Makeover and when finances came up they would mention that we needed to go to the class or read the book. Well, during a Driscoll family reunion (where it comes up every year) our debt slavery was discussed. Later Katie told Ben that she reads The Total Money Makeover every.single.year.  Ben jokes that while some people are reading through the Bible in a year, Katie's pouring over TMM!  Katie and Jes promised to mail the book to us when they returned home.  True to their promise it arrived about a week later.  Hotsauce was the first to crack it open and we decided that he would read at night while I read during the day when he was at work.  We may have fought over it at times when I didn't keep my end of the bargain and would read it when he was at home...

We have both completed the book and Ben has started to reread it... wonder if he's still making fun of Katie??  We finished our first budget that we have ever both agreed on in 10 years, 6 months, 1 week and 3 days, no exaggeration.  We are on the same page and we have the eye of the tiger!  I am hands down the most competitive person I know and I am looking forward to defeating this thing called debt!  I would also say that for the first time in 10 years, 6 months, 1 week and 3 days we have a real sense of hope.  We've had the desire for a long time to get out of debt, but we never had a plan and now that we do there is a call of freedom that rings deep in our souls.

My hope is to keep you posted as a form of my own accountability.  I know I will have no problem celebrating with all of you... hopefully I will be able to share struggles too.  Please ask us how it's going from time to time!  Below is a list of ways that you can pray for us if you choose to do so.

Prayers:
1. We put that house that Hotsauce and his friend bought (11 years ago) on the market yesterday.  This will be our 3rd time trying to sell it.  The realtor seemed very positive that we have it priced well and that we should be able to sell it this time! Please pray that we do sell it and for a fair price.  Pray that we will be patient.

2. We have offered to let Julayne move back in with us in October.  The situation will be mutually benefical financially, but will come with its challenges.  Please pray that as the 8 of us make adjustments that God will be glorified and that we will act in love.  Pray that each of us get the privacy that we need.

3. I have been planning on selling a few items that I have worked on for awhile... a small online shop called Turkey Bottom Haven.  Please pray that it will be well received and that it will be a benefit our family.

4. We are also praying about whether Hotsauce or I should get a part-time job to help get the snowball rolling a little faster.

Well, that's about it for now!  If you haven't read Dave Ramsey's book I would highly recommend it.  We hope to watch the Financial Peace University dvds soon!
 

On being the Pastor's Daughter in Law...

I married Hotsauce without really knowing how his father's profession would influence my life.  I would imagine that most people don't consider this when they are mulling over the characteristics of what they want in a spouse.  Unless of course their soon to be in-law is a celebrity, politician or mob boss that is...

So here I am 10 years into this marriage and find that once again being the pastor's daughter-in-law is effecting the number of text messages I am receiving.  This next statement is no surprise to anyone who knows Pastor Dan... while he is a passionate teacher of The Word and lover of his flock, he is organizationally challenged. 

He is also not a woman.

There I said it. He is NOT a woman. Whew, glad I got that off my chest.

So you see, as a not-woman, he does not think like a woman.  I believe Hotsauce got this attribute from his dad, as I'm sure it didn't come from his mama!  So when Pastor Not-Woman Dan plans an overnight retreat he thinks "No big deal."  While women of our congregation go mad crazy trying to figure out exactly what a communal meal is and how it translates on their grocery shopping lists, what to pack for bedding, if they will need to bring ear plugs to drown out the snoring of men that don't normally share a room with them and other such things... and so I find my phone blowing up with text messages at really odd times of the day.

I believe some people are afraid to ask PN-WD (Pastor Not-Woman Dan) because they think it's a silly question and why bother PN-WD with something so insignificant when he's probably preparing sermons, visiting drug addicts in jail and praying over the nearly dead.  But, he does have a wife, they could text her... but she's probably praying and fasting for her husband who's probably preparing sermons, visiting drug addicts in jail and praying over the nearly dead.  So, the next "best" option is the daughter-in-law, because they know Hotsauce will tell them to just go figure it out themselves.

Now, let me make this very clear.  I do not mind, not even a little bit.  It may even go to my head sometimes... I may catch myself thinking that everyone must really care about what I'm feeding my family and the number of sleeping bags I'm packing!  Then, of course, reality hits me square in the face and I am reminded that I'm the Pastor's nearest living relative that isn't praying, fasting, or visiting the addicted and dying... who may have already asked PN-WD the very same questions that I'm being asked.  So, wait, you don't care that we will be having 3 solid meals of hot dogs??  Weird.

I also like to think that my very unique position keeps many a lady out of the communion wine.  Just playing my part in keeping the Kingdom pure. ;)


 

10 x Random = Cheese.

This may be one of my most random posts ever and who knows if I'll ever "publish it"... but here are some random thoughts that I've had recently...

1. I still want my nose pierced.  This is not something Ben will get behind.

2. "Get behind" is something that Michael said about a million times on our vacation... which can only mean that my mom will start using it soon and Michael will rue the day he ever repeated this phrase.  I think that's a glorious revenge. ;)

3. Hotsauce recently lied to our children and told them that nobody in our house works harder than I do.  This was after Benjamin told my sister that I sit on the computer all day and watch TV while the rest of the Turkey Bottoms do all the chores.  I was crying while cleaning a jar of exploded jam out of the pantry (which starts to mold if it happens while you're on vacation at the time) and muttering about how no one appreciates what I do.  I think he panicked and just wanted me to stop crying! ;)  It may have also been a very special time of the month and I may or may not have been overly tired... I also may not have corrected Hotsauce's obvious lie.

4. While at the water park at Adventureland I saw lots of girls wearing bikinis with these wrap around tattoos and I thought they looked amazing... Well, except that I couldn't actually read anything that they said... and that I'm whole heartedly against bikinis (it's a modesty issue) ... and once they have 5 kids it's not going to look nearly as hot.  Yes, I'm sure they all plan on having 5 kids.  Doesn't everyone?

5.  I have been growing my hair out for some time and in this heat I really, really, really want to cut it.  I found my "perfect" hair style on Pinterest and was working up the courage to talk to Hotsauce about it... because it involves cutting, perming and coloring my hair... and after I said I want to get my hair cut he went on a 5 minute monologue about how much he loves my hair and how beautiful it is to the point that  I think he was tearing up (ok, that never happened) and I melted.  I mean, if he loves it that much who am I to disagree?  Here's a little peek at what I had on my mind...

Photo credit here!

But since he was poetically begging  creatively reassuring me of my beauty I could not dash his hopes... yet.  Because if things don't cool down soon I will be standing at the mirror with scissors in hand and it will not be pretty.

6.  My sister, Krista, was telling me that she bought the book 50 Shades of Grey for her Nook.   My Facebook feed tells me that this is a summer hit among many of my girl friends, but I really had no idea what the book is about.  So imagine this innocent Christian lady's reaction when Sis starts off by saying that the main character is a "Submissive" and that the whole idea sickened her and she had to quit reading the book.  Mean while in my mind a woman who is submissive is one who submits to her husband and I was gearing up to defend my position that this is a God given role and defend the cause of the main character! Ha!  After a brief description of the book I am convinced that 50 Shades of Grey is not based on biblical principles! 

7. After reading Jon Acuff's blog today I was amazed to see another reference to 50 Shades of Grey.  I always love to stalk the comments and read the ongoing debates on hot button topics.  One that was particularly funny, in an ironic kind of way, was one man who said something to the effect that he hates it when Christians judge something as evil without ever experiencing it... in this case declaring the book evil, without reading it, is another example of the judgmental Christian agenda.  Really?  You can only declare something evil if you've experienced it yourself?  Hmmmm.  Like murder?  Or child molestation?  Or hundreds of other examples that come to mind.  Don't be deceived the book is called "Mommy porn" for a reason.

8. On a lighter note, I refinished a table today.  Sanded it, stained it and currently waiting for the poly to dry.  Just one thing on a long list of things to get done before Hotsauce's family gets here in a few weeks!  I would like come up with "Sauce" names for his brother and 2 sisters as well!  This also reminds me that I'm supposed to be designing reunion shirts!  Whoops.  

9.  I drove over an hour today to buy old rusty lockers.  In a cruel twist of fate I was able to see them laying in the Pickin' Shed's driveway, but the owners weren't there and I left empty handed.  Are.you.kidding.me??  So sad.  Here they are in all their glory... well, actually they'd be far more glorious in my house!!

Be still my beating heart!  Find the Pickin' Shed on Facebook here.

I know.  I know! I.know!!!  You are inwardly weeping with me!  Ok, so maybe not so much, but please tell me these wouldn't be wonderful in my house! You can't do it, can you?  The patina, the rust, the extra storage for a homeschooling mama!!

10. And finally the cheese.  Once again I forgot the cheese!  I had in mind to buy some "Ghost Cheese" for my Dad for Father's Day.  I went to the Fairbank Locker only to be told that they are constantly selling out of it.  Really?  You're selling out of cheese?  It's hot, like Ryan Gosling cheering on my homeschooling efforts... I have no idea where that came from, because frankly he's not that hot.  Not Hotsauce hot for sho! Um, what?  Ok, so it's a bit spicy... the cheese that is... Like make grown men cry hot.  And I know that Dad will love it if I ever get my hands on it!

Just in case you have no idea what I'm talking about with Ryan Gosling... which might not even be his name... because my pop culture stinks... I will dig up a final tidbit...

See, Ryan Gosling gets it!  He was home schooled! ;)

What are you running from?

I am still not a runner.  I may run, but running is not in my heart.  It is not out of love for running that I run, but something very different.

Recently I ran passed a house not far from our own, and a man who always appears to be drunk, started hollering at me, "Are you okay?"

I was having an off day.  I never found my breathing rhythm (at least that's what Hotsauce calls it) and I was struggling to breathe let alone talk, so I respond, "Yes."  More out of fear that he would call 911 thinking I was being pursued by an attacker, then to bring any kind of peace of mind to him.

"So, what are you doing??"
"Running."  I don't stop, because I'm a little paranoid and because I was just a few blocks from home and the sweet freedom of being able to stop running!!
"Well, duh. What are you running from?"

I kept running and never responded.  Well, at least not aloud.  What am I running from?

Such a heavy question isn't it?  I mean if you asked me as I laced up my shoes what I was going to run from I would look at you like you were ca-razy.  But, I've played that question over and over in my head and deep down I know exactly what I'm running from.

Let me take you to a day in middle school that will forever burn in the deep place of hurt in my heart.  Middle school had already proven itself to be that horribly awkward time where hormones are doing a number on everyone and on top of that it's a time of jockeying for popularity.  I'm not sure that I've ever met a Jr. Higher that really had a deep rooted self-confidence and like most I was completely unsure of who I was or if I held any value to anyone... and then it happened.  It started off like normal days.  I walked to school and dropped my backpack off in my locker.  Because my last name started with an "A" my locker was the very first one in the long line of 7th (or perhaps 6th?) grade lockers.  Thus, my locker was right next to the gym door.  Where someone was watching out for my arrival.  This person then reported to others that I arrived.  I remember hearing the shuffling of bodies on the bleachers which were right by the door close to my locker, but thinking nothing of it I entered the gym expecting to find my friends awaiting my arrival.  Instead, a large group of my classmates, started chanting, "Albino, albino, albino..." Over and over again until I ran out of the gym embarrassed and brokenhearted.  I'm not sure what I did the rest of the day.  I don't know if I acted like all was well or what... but I forever knew that I was ugly and had suffered a great public humiliation because of it.

Years later I started dating a boy who I thought could possibly be my future husband.  He was athletic and the first Christian boy I ever dated.  The simple fact that he was a Christian made him so different from any boy that I had ever liked, and in hindsight it is easy for me to see why I fell so hard so fast... oh, how I loved him.  But, of course being 16 I didn't have the first clue what love was and so when he told me that he loved me as well, I believed he meant he would love me forever.  I remember in vivid detail the day he broke up with me and how crushed I was.  There were other boys, but none like him.  He also started dating other girls and my heart broke every time I saw him holding the hand of another girl. Soon a pattern began where he would date a girl and then I would start to get over him and he would break up with the girl and we would "hang out" for awhile and I would convince my heart that this time it was forever.  Finally one night when I confronted him about the pattern he told me, "I've never loved you.  I always just said that I did because you said that you loved me and I felt like you expected me to say it back."  Again my world shattered and I figured that if only I was prettier, or funnier, or more lovable or not so albino, or somehow just better that he would've fallen in love with me too.

I'd like to say that since I'm not in middle school or even college that I have grown up and came to realize that kids are kids and sometimes they do incredibly cruel things, but it doesn't mean that I'm forever ugly or completely unlovable... but the truth is that I still believe those things.  I believe that most women have similar hurts and believe the same lies that I believe.  As their friend or even as a stranger I would tell them that God doesn't make mistakes and that they are wonderfully and fearfully made.  Dear Sisters, you are beautiful the way that you are... oh, if only I believed it for myself.

So, what am I running from?  I'm running from the hurts of my past.  The worse of which you'll never find in a blog... but I'm running so that I might be prettier and more lovable.  Silly isn't it? Perhaps.

But, in running from the past I find myself running farther and longer then I ever thought I could.  I hate almost every step, but I'm doing it.  I run through the pain of the past as I run through the pain of being out of shape.  Every time that I do something that I didn't think that I could, I start to believe something new about myself.  I am stronger than I think.  I am capable of more than I realized.  My thoughts about my body are generally untrue.  I don't have to stop, I'm not really going to puke, I can catch my breath.  Then the other day as I was running I said to myself, "My body is really an amazing thing."  It only fails when my mind lies to it... and I chose to let my mind win.

I have pale skin with freckles.  My face is almost always red.  I was not the woman God intended for the boy I once thought I loved.  But, he isn't the man God intended for me either.  I'm not as curvy as I would like to be... except in the places where I wish I was flatter.  But, oddly as I run from the past I realize that am more then what my mind tells me that I am.  I believe that someday soon I will stop running from the past and starting running towards something great.  And on that day the run will be far more enjoyable then even I can imagine.

I want to run across the United States!

So I have started running jogging and so far in two weeks I have run an incredible 8.6 miles.  More than I have run since marrying Hotsauce.  Not even joking!  Give me another week and I think I'll have run more than I have in my whole life.  How sad is that? No, actually, how exciting is that??  It has become this new challenge in my life.  An extreme competition between me, myself and I!  And so far I'm winning!!

I might not ever post my times... because a few of them all of them are pretty much embarrassing!  But, as my friend Annette said, I'm lapping all of you sitting at home on the couch!  If any of you ever saw me play sports in school you already know that I have NEVER been accused of being fast.  I'm just not.  I remember running the dreaded mile in PE and if I tried I would finish the mile in about 8 minutes.  I remember so many of the boys in my class trying to break the 4 minute mark and thinking they could run 2 miles in the time I finish one.  Ugh!

So my goal starting out is finding my 8 minute mile.  Let me just tell you that my first time out was a miserable failure!! But, in my defense, Hotsauce told me that he drove a route and according to the odometer it was a mile.  Well, it wasn't... it was 1.2 miles.  Still not enough to justify my poor time.  So then I will throw in the fact that half of it is up hill.  Not a big hill...just an incline... kinda slight, but an incline all the same.  Hmmm... there must be an excuse in here somewhere!! How about that I weigh 30 lbs more then I did in high school and I'm 16 years older?  That must be it.  Really 30 lbs, somehow that doesn't make me feel much better!!

I've recently changed routes to exactly 1 mile and basically flat and I have to tell you that I have dropped several minutes off my time and that's exciting for me!  Really exciting.

Tonight I have set my goal completely over the top.  I want to run across the United States. From San Diego, California to Saint David, Maine.  That's approximately 3,300 miles.  But, I'm not so silly to think that I could do that in one journey.  Instead I would like to run it all bit every day in my own neighborhood.  As in I would like to run a total of 3,300 miles.  Just because.  Because I think I can.  Of course I need to work my way up so that I'm running more than a mile a day (because that will take me over 9 years)!

A more realistic goal that I have is to run a 5K (around 3 miles) with Ben this summer.  From there I would like to eventually run a half marathon.  Who knows, maybe someday a marathon!  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me ... and how I would need his strength to do that!  Actually I need his strength to keep running every day and finishing the mile without walking!!

Perhaps the biggest blessing that I've had is that Hannah has run twice with me.  She amazes me!  Last night as we were running she looks at me and all out of breath she says, "This is not fair!  You're jogging and I'm running with all my might!"  And she was!  She only walked a block and I gave her 5 different opportunities to take short cuts home, but she refused every time.  She inspires me to persevere.  I have hopes that she will develop a love for running and that years from now we will still be running side by side... only I imagine there will come a time when I say, "This is not fair!  You're jogging and I'm running with all my might!"

Weekend Away!

So Hotsauce and I got away for the weekend! Yay us!  ;)
Like most of you know, we went to St. Louis and quickly discovered that a weekend WAS NOT LONG ENOUGH.  Though, honestly when is a weekend away ever long enough??  Or a week even?  But we are seriously considering taking the kids with us next summer.
Which brings me to this random thought.  I rarely usually sometimes NEVER miss the Turkey Bottoms when I'm away with Hotsauce.  I know, I'm a bad mom!  But, seriously I had just shy of 72 hours without anyone saying, "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy... NOOOOO! I WAS TALKING TO MOMMY! MOMMY, MOMMMMMY, MOMMMMMMMMMMMY!" It was heavenly.

So, what did we do?  We got in on Friday night around 9ish and asked the front desk guy where a great place to hang out would be... he suggested the Delmar Loop.  Which was great... if you like live music, people yelling and screaming at each other, bright lights, big crowds, lots of hookah bars and nightlife in general.  Which of course we do.  Ha! Ok, I loved watching the people and the atmosphere... Hotsauce looked like a very uncomfortable cop. ;)  And he may or may not have had to explain what exactly and hookah bar was and I just kept thinking, "That CANNOT be sanitary."

Saturday morning we slept in... until 11:30! Heavenly.  Seriously.  We had to force ourselves out of bed.  We then bought new running shoes at the Galleria Mall and put them to use once we found some used furniture/consignment/antique shops.  Here's something that never happens... we found 2 pieces of furniture that we both liked and could afford... but didn't buy them!  Ahhh, the power of the Holy Spirit!

After that we did a drive by of the Arch and then went out with some friends from Emmaus (that we hadn't seen in 10 years) at a place called Bailey's Range, which you can check out here.  And because I was doing such a great job of sticking to my diet (or because we were enjoying our time with James and Eryn so much) we ended up at Fountains on Locust...which you can check out here.  This is the one time where Ben "out ordered me" and got something called the Dark and Sinister... um, it was delish!  

Sunday morning we only slept in until 10:30!  It still makes me a little giddy just thinking about it.  :) On the suggestion of Eryn we went to Antique Row on Cherokee.  Again the Holy Spirit was at work and we refrained from buying anything!  We left there and went to the St. Louis Zoo which was a great time!  I fed a stingray and it nibbled my finger and I chickened out of feeding it anything else!!  But, they were great to pet... at least for me - the uncomfortable cop just looked on and laughed at me!  We probably walked a minimum of 7 miles and it was 94 degrees, so maybe Hotsauce was just hot! ;)

We headed out for the Arch with big plans to go to the top as I have never been and Ben was just a little duffer when his parents took him.  We got there and discovered this sign...

I won't rat him out entirely, but let's just say he didn't have any alcohol, pets or mace on him... but if there are any other pictures of any other things he may have had both in his possession.  Not that he would ever have to protect himself, his wife or others at a national monument... so who cares about his right to bear arms... but that's a different blog post altogether right!

Well, by the time we got back to the van to lock up forbidden items I may have had to go to the bathroom and by the time we found one and got back to the Arch and stood in line forever they only had ONE ticket left to the top.  Ben was willing to let me have it, but I wasn't going without him, so we went to the Museum to lick our wounds.  After walking around listening to the creepy fake people giving small history levels we left to go have pizza and watch cable TV in our hotel room.  Which by the way was really nice and I got it super cheap using the "secret room" option from Travelocity.  But, if you're ever in St. Louis, you should check out the Hilton Garden Inn.  Breakfast costs $12, but since we slept through it we didn't care!!

Monday morning rolled around and we were out of bed bright and early for a last ditch effort to get to the top of the Arch (which is something the two of us have wanted to do together for awhile now).  And we finally made it!! So I will leave you with some pictures since this has gone a little longer than planned!!

I didn't do the best directing of where his hands should go, but I try!

View towards the city from the top!

We sure are cute!!

Hypocrite Church ...

"Do you want to come to church with me on Sunday?" I ask.

"Church really isn't my thing." She replies.

"Well, if you change your mind let me know."

"Actually, I don't like the idea of going to Hypocrite Church."

"Hypocrite Church?"

"Yes. Your church. It's full of hypocrites, acting like they're better than everyone else, pretending not to be sinners.  But, I work with Mr. Hypocrite and let me tell you he's a real dirt bag Monday through Friday from 9-5 and I know he's a member of Hypocrite Church and I don't want to be a part of that."

                                                                              ************

Lots of us have experienced conversations like this one!  And for some reason this conversation keeps coming up in my world.  Like most conversations I always look back and think, I should have said this and that and added this... as though my terrific insights on any subject will convince those in attendance to lay down their lives, pick up their crosses and follow after Jesus all the days of their lives!  Ahh, if only!

But, here are a few things I wish I would have said ...

First of all how is hypocrite defined?   -person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.


-person who pretends to be what he is not

Ouch.

So yes, perhaps I go to Hypocrite Church. Every church has their share of hypocrites.  So does every organization, political group, group of moms, and circle of friends... etc.  Where there is a group of people gathered you will find in their midst people pretending to be something/someone they're not.  We all want people to think that we are better than we really are, it's human nature.  It's not an excuse so much as an admission of guilt.

But, perhaps you're wrong about who they really are and what they're doing?  What if they're not so much a hypocrite as they are a work in progress?  I strive to be more than I am.  I know right from wrong and unfortunately I often choose wrong.  But, the more time I spend in the presence of Jesus, with fellow believers who keep me accountable and pray for my growth, the more God makes me into who I should be.

Becoming a Christian and going to church doesn't guarantee that we automatically become sin free... much in the same way that becoming a parent doesn't make our actions always line up with what we are teaching our children.  I would dearly love to impress upon my children that they need to be honest, but does that mean that I will never lie again? I wish!!  If we had to wait to go to church before we became perfect people we would have a lot of empty churches and, I for one, would never know the joy of sitting under the teaching of the Bible so that I may somehow become a little more like Jesus each week!  Likewise, if we had to be perfect before bearing children this world would die off pretty quickly!

Since I'm relating church going and parenting so much here is one more consideration.  Before having children I would have very pridefully told you that I thought I would make a wonderful mom, because I was a pretty wonderful person.  Then God gave me children!  I learned very quickly that I'm a very impatient person.  I am an easily frustrated person.  I am prone to telling white lies if it gets me out of asking another question.  I am lazy.  I am not nearly the prayer warrior I need to be.  I will tell you that some situations warrant yelling like a crazy person and that I have been known to spank in anger and not out of a desire for my children to become more like Jesus.  Being a mom has opened my eyes to my many areas of weakness and that perhaps a little humility will do me some good!  I will also tell you that church has done the very same thing for me.

Being involved in a Bible believing church has also taught me that I fall short all of the time.  Romans 3:23 says, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." It reminds me that many times I will tell my friends and neighbors that the need to be patient with their children, that they need to pray for them and that yelling isn't the answer and many times those who know me best will ask me how I'm doing in these areas myself.  My church is more than a building full of hypocrites... it's my family.  They are people who know that I fall short and they love me in spite of short comings.  It is a family that encourages me, teaches me, prays for me (and my poor children), calls me out when I need to be called out, and offers unconditional love and is a picture of God's grace.

I ask that you might give my family at Hypocrite Church a little grace and realize that we aren't really here to tell you what you need to do or not do... instead we are here to learn more about God and His Only Begotten Son ... you know, the Son that died on the cross for all our sins and who is mercifully changing us each day to be more like Him and less like a hypocrite.

Also I would challenge you to come to Hypocrite Church and perhaps God will work in your heart so that you may love His children and see that we need a Savior just as much as you do.  We would love you to become a part of our family... bumps, bruises and dysfunction ... love, grace and mercy too.

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.  He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love. Ephesians 4:15 &16 (NLT).

Trying the impossible.

I've recently read a quote that says something along the lines that nothing is impossible, the word itself says,
 "I'm possible".

I am worn out with what seems like my impossible task!

I am fervently, obsessively, constantly searching for the perfect home school curriculum.  Assuming that you're my friend on Facebook you're saying to yourself, "Tell me something I don't already know!"

We have been using My Father's World with Hannah for 4 years, with Emma for 2 years and with Benjamin this year.  It has some incredible strengths... it's phonics instruction seems to be fantastic for each of the Turkeys.  I also think the penmanship is great and there's plenty of practice.  Penmanship may not seem like a big deal, but it is a major deal for Hotsauce who thinks that too many home schooled kids have horrific hand writing.

This year we read Kingdom Tales which we all loved as a family (though it was designed for Hannah's curriculum), we also loved Hero Tales, Christian Heroes: Then & Now, Come Look With Me, Window on the World and many other books recommended for reading.  So I loved both the read alouds and the silent reading that we have done over the years.

I do not like Singapore Math.  I do not like how there are no comprehension questions that accompany the assigned Bible passages or memory verses.  I do not like English program that we are using as it has no teacher's manual and seems to be obscure and frustrating for Hannah.  I also don't like how each subject does not connect to the others... at least not as much as I would like.

I would love to find a Christ-centered curriculum that is also connected and "one-piece" if you will.  I would love a program that has a central unit of study and everything else is connected.  For instance, if we are learning about Africa I would love to have our vocabulary and spelling words coming out of the books that we are reading.  I would want our history and geography to be all about a Africa as well as any copy work too.  I would like art that is from Africa to be studied and instruction on how to make similar "African Art" to be given.  I would love to have books on what God is doing in Africa and accounts of "famous" African saints.  And so on and so on.

But apparently this doesn't exist. I have had several people joke that I should write my own curriculum. I considered it... believe me I might still be considering it!!

Since I cannot find what I want I have asked numerous people about what they are using and what are the strengths and weaknesses of their curriculum.  Let me tell you something about home schooling mamas... they either love or hate their curriculum.  I have not found people who think, "It's pretty average and our children really aren't learning anything, but that's okay with us."  No, most HSMs (home schooling mamas) have very strong opinions about curriculum and most are very long winded in telling you about them... some HSMs even write blogs about it!! ;)

The one thing that has been a very positive aspect of weeding through curriculum is that you learn quickly what you don't want... and in doing so you discover what is most important to you.  Several HSMs who have grown children keep telling me to cover the basics for Elementary... Bible, reading, writing, math and the rest will follow.

Hotsauce and I also strongly believe that one of the greatest things we can do for our children's education is not only to teach them to read, but to introduce them to great books. Literature opens our children's minds to a wealth of knowledge!  History, science, geography, grammar, art, math, personal character, matters of faith and more can all be learned from great books.  Reading together as a family, or one on one with the a Turkey, also opens doors to greatness!  But, there are so many books that are so full of junk that we also must be diligent in giving them books that are in line with our faith.  Easier said then done!!

So this is the journey of home schooling.  It's exhausting.  I only pray that it will prove to be of great value for the Kingdom!

**Please let me know what your favorite books were in Elementary!!

Say what??

With temperatures in the 70s and 5 children asking  begging to go to the park we decided we could hold them off no longer... especially one persistent 6 year old boy who's life would surely end if we didn't make it there today!
We went out to grab the Turkey Bottoms and before long a neighbor girl asked her mom if she could come with us... her mom agreed.  I think her eyes even twinkled in a way that all moms hope they hide, but other moms pick up on easily. You know, the look of freedom. As we were taking off the girl across the street came home from school and was about ready to cross the street when one of our children announced that we were headed to the park.  So Hotsauce, dutifully walked over and asked her mom if she could join us too! I imagine she had that same look also... especially since she works out of the home all day.
While waiting for girl-across-the-street and for Benjamin to return his fireman hat into the house along came two other neighbor kids from school. They joined us also. So with 9 kids in tow, some on bikes and others with little legs hurrying to catch up we journeyed to the park.  And wouldn't you know that while we were there 2 more kids from our neighborhood showed up.  So that's 4 eyes on 11 kiddos... all who were very well behaved and actually made the day far more enjoyable than our meager family of 7!
I wish the same could be said of another boy who was around the ripe age of 9 or 10... he was at the park accompanied by a 6 or 7 month old brother and an 18 month old brother and his mom.  Upon arrival I hear his mom say his name in that disgusted tone that can only mean she is done... and I mean DONE! He ignores her and goes on with his business of being naughty. When she tries to get his attention again he replies:


"Mom you're so retarded that you shove batteries up your butt so you can have some power."


Ben and I sucked all the oxygen out of a three block radius, both from sheer shock and in anticipation of the fury that will surely befall this ... this... this... disrespectful child who really has a snowball's chance in hell to become a contributing member of society... and then it happened... His mother dropped her voice an octive and said:

"That's really inappropriate, you know."


And the child responded with laughter:

"Yeah, but it's really funny."


And that was that.

Ben and I, of course, exchanged a look that lasted a mere half second that communicated to the other:

"Oh.my.word.if.that.was.our.child...You've.got.to.be.kidding.that's.all.you.got?...You both need spankings. And so much more."


Now, I know that when your child acts out and you're out in public that it's really hard to know exactly what to do and I will also admit that my children have gotten away with more then they should... but this was beyond "inappropriate".

As you may have guessed they stuck around and played awhile longer before the mom announced that it was time to go home because she was tired and still needed to make supper. The child flat told his mom, "NO" and that he wasn't going yet. So she stayed awhile longer. Again she announced it was time to go and started getting her two younger sons ready to leave.  Oldest boy says, "Just one more slide."

Now we have all been here and we have all given into the "One more slide," request... even when it's accompanied by a whine. I've even seen moms give in to this request when it comes with kicking, screaming and throwing a fit on the floor of McDonalds.  But, I've never seen it work after a child has called his mom a "powerless retard".  Which is obviously an offensive term that no child should ever use, but when using it to his mother's face is without words, but he did prove his point that his mother truly doesn't have any power when it comes to being an authority figure in the life of her 9 year old child.

When mom finally convinced her son to leave the playground he was upset and called her fat, maybe even a big fatty, but I can't be completely sure of that.  Upon hearing this my eyes doubled in size and my mouth dropped open.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that? Just wait until we get home."

Son: "No, mom. No!"

"That's it. I've told you a hundred times not to call me that and now when we get home..."

"No, mom!! No!!!!!"

"...I'm going to whoop your ass..."


Are you serious?  He's called you that a hundred times before and he still has teeth? I am going to make a major assumption here and say that there must not be a dad (or his dad) in the picture. Why? Because if any of my children would have ever said that to me their Dad would have knocked them into next week.  But, even further than that my children would never say that to me because they have been trained by their father that not only is that inappropriate, it won't be tolerated! And why won't it be tolerated?  Because God commands that "children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right."  And if dads don't teach their children what is right and what is wrong, then this is what happens. This boy has no boundaries, no respect for authority, no direction or purpose, no idea what is right.

I believe that each one of us has a need for authority and a need to know how to operate under it.  I further believe that we have a small period of time to train our children the up in the benefits of obedience and the consequences of rebellion.  During the early years we give them a gift far beyond worldly riches that will guide their lives.  Some people would say that it is far too early to predict the path that this young boy will travel, but I would imagine that it will not be an easy one and will likely end up in destruction.  Of course, I can not predict if God will get a hold of him and his heart, but apart from Him there is little hope for this young boy.

And that's the saddest part of this whole story.  A lost little boy who needs a father who loves him enough to discipline him, to train him in the way that he should go, to teach him what it means to respect and to be respected.